[Tweeters] Birding In The Wind

Jeff Gibson gibsondesign at msn.com
Sat Apr 4 18:06:06 PDT 2015

"The answer my friend is birding in the wind,the answer is birding in the wind"
- traditional birding folksong.

Well, Bill and Bob were hard at it, doing research. I've been hiring these former barstool anchors of the late Anchor Pub for environmental field reports to the Everett Hairball newspaper. (" the news the Herald don't cough up" - that's our working model). Sort of stuck in Port Townsend awhile, I sent them out into the sagebrush to confirm some stuff I've been hearing on tweeters lately. "Look for birds", I told 'em.
"Whoa, this wind - makes it kinda hard to do our job!" Bill whined. Most of the birds appeared as vague dusty brown objects in the wind.
"Hey, tell me about it!" Bob replied, as they were buffeted by sandy sagebrush winds. " I think I just saw a Sage Thrasher - had it in the scope for just a second before it plumb got sucked away toward Quilomene".
"Sucked!" Bill said, " don't you mean blowed?"
"No, I mean this wind really sucks! For birding anyway." Bob said.
"Well, I say it really blows! For birding anyway" Bill retorted. Bill and Bob went back and forth on the issue for awhile - that's how we achieve 'balanced ' reporting here on the Hairball. Finally these two big crusty guys did what they often do when up against a natural conundrum - they both called into the sky "MOMMY, HELP US!" That would be Mother Nature.
And there she was. " Well, if it isn't Blow and Suck - the B & S twins!" Mother Nature replied in what is truly surround-sound. "What is it this time, oh questionable ones?" , Mother Nature said in sort of a pretend irritated voice, but really she loved these two goofs, because they were sincere and actually talked to her.
"Well we just kinda wanted to know, does the wind suck, or does it blow?" they both asked.
"You two yoo-hoos are making the wind sound like a ping-pong game. The wind doesn't suck or blow," Mother Nature said, "The wind flows".
"And by the way, Bill, you've got some sage stuck to your teeth" Mother Nature added, "and hey guys, your'e missing some birds just behind you - go with the flow, baby!"
Jeff Gibsoneditor ofThe Everett Hairball

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